My Bestfriend’s Diary

Posted: May 21, 2015 in Random

I didn’t know how to tell her how I really felt about her. She was my best friend and I felt like her diary because she told me everything. We used to play together when we were younger. After school we walked home and talked about everything that happened at school. She stayed next door so we would hang out after supper each night and talk about our dreams. In fact, we talked about everything. There were times when I wasn’t into the conversation because I was thinking about how to tell her that I loved her.
On the eve of our prom night, we agreed to go together if no one asked us out. A shy but pretty girl asked me out but I turned her down politely. She didn’t have a date as well so we went together as we had agreed on earlier. At the prom we just danced and talked and had all the fun in the world but I didn’t even smile. When she asked why, I said she looked beautiful that night but I was only worried why she didn’t get a real date. A tear trickled down her face at this. That lowered my self-esteem more and crashed my hopes. After the prom, I drove her home safely and kissed her forehead goodnight and that was it.
We moved to different states for college and each break, we would come back to under the big oak tree at our old house and talk. I became even more quite when she told me that she had a new boyfriend in her new school and she talked so much about her first kiss. When he dumped her, I became a wet handkerchief and as I consoled the sobbing girl. At her wedding, the groom asked me to be his best man I felt the most severe pain as I watched the groom kiss my bride. She even named her only child after me.
Now, here I stand at her funeral, and her diary is being read by her son and this is the other side of the story, her side.
July 12th 1972, I see my husband even though I am only eight years old but I am not his wife.
September 5th 1972, John says he sees his dead sister in me; I will make sure I won’t hurt him ever.
December 26th 1972, it’s Boxing Day and John is hugging Yvonne instead of me but he gave me a nice drawing of me and him sitting under the big oak tree and it’s the cutest thing yet
I lose count of the continuation as I weep solemnly then I hear; “May 25th 1981 after refusing six proposals, I finally get to go with my beloved, I hope he’s alone and I hope to get my 1st kiss tonight…….
May 26th 1981, it’s about 2 0’clock in the morning and I can’t help believing he doesn’t feel the same way. I lied to him about having a boyfriend and when I get eaten up by my lie and start sobbing, he consoles me like a mother and her baby.
Now I’m too old to be chasing the wind, it’s been 20 years now and he doesn’t show any feelings for me. I think I should end this book now
And with that, all eyes turn to me as if I was guilty of a crime, yes it is a crime but I did it unconsciously and my victim is the culprit of my loneliness
Life is once and for all, we cannot change that
Let’s make the best of it for we may not be sitting here this way some other time. No situation is permanent
You were not wearing these clothes yesterday, neither will you be tomorrow but one thing is for sure – tell her you love her and time cannot change that


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